Its 2:15 a.m. in the New Orleans, Louisiana International Airport. I'm sitting here, awaiting my flight, watching people in the airport. As I look around, I see at least 25 other people waiting around and I can't help but wonder what people's stories are: maybe some are here because they have an early flight in the morning, maybe some are here stuck on a layover that got delayed until tomorrow, maybe some made it in late last night and are waiting for their ride to come in the morning. Some folks are alone, some accompanied by a friend, some are in a group. What are they traveling for? Business? Leisure? Wedding? Funeral? Vacation? Who knows. I look around and I see a slur of emotions-- some sad, some happy, some distracted, some aware, some sleeping. I can't help but look around and wonder what brought them here...in the same place as me. Then I began thinking about MY story.
Usually, when I think of my story, I think of what brought me to this point. Every decision, every circumstance, every tribulation, every answered prayer...it all brought me to here. That's life. You're given a decision and you choose. When you choose, you deal with the consequences (good or bad) of that choice and you continue living until another decision pops up. This process happens over and over. We make thousands of decisions a day. Some so small that they barely effect the outcome of our life; some so big that they change everything. So I am sitting here and reminiscing...not so much on what my story is up to this point..but more about what I want my story to be.
I looked around and I saw people who were all different from me. Different in age, gender, race, ethnicity, social class, circumstance, etc. So what brings hundreds of people that are so different together in the same place? Particularly, in this situation, it was travel. Everyone was here because they were either heading somewhere or heading home. The reason for travel was different for everyone in the airport tonight. But, everyone was here to travel somewhere.
It hit me almost like a freight train. For hours, all I could focus on was how different everyone was from me and how different our stories are and how different our circumstances are right now. And then this warm feeling rushed through my body and I realized that I was focused on the wrong thing the whole time. Two facts were for sure:
1. We were all PEOPLE
2. We were all here for PEOPLE.
Think about it. Families go on vacation to spend time with each other. You attend funerals to celebrate the life of a loved one. You travel for leisure with friends to make memories. You travel for business to put food on the table for your family. You chase your kids around when they are traveling to compete for sporting events. You visit friends and family. Everyone in this building was here for one reason: to be with/to celebrate/to support/to visit/to interact with other people....
That's why I was here too.....
Yeah, the reasoning may vary but the root was always the same: People were here because of other people.
I began to think about the drivers of the decisions in my own life. Thanks to one of my favorite books, The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, I am a firm believer that every decision that you make either takes you closer or farther from your goals. Eating healthy, exercising, investing, spending, personal growth, reading, researching, choosing a job, choosing a family, etc. The important thing is that you know what you want in life and understand that every decision truly does take you either closer or further from those things.
Admittedly so, my number 1 driver used to be financial stability. I used to want to make the most money that I could and save it and invest it and put my head down and grind until I got to the very top of my professional success. I can admit that financial stability is still a goal of mine but it is not my driver.
There's a difference.
A goal is something you work towards. A driver is the foundation of all your decision making.
So what is my driver....and when did it change?
I got to thinking. Why do I do the things that I do? Why do I choose to take certain paths over others? What is the basis for my life decisions?
My driver is people...
When did it change?
It changed when I realized that there is only one non-disposable resource in the world: time.
Let me tell you something from experience. Your perspective changes when you lose a loved one. Your perspective changes when someone close to you is diagnosed with an incurable disease. Your perspective changes when a loved one goes overseas and risks their life to protect the freedom of our country. Your perspective changes when your family grows up and life moves everyone all around the country.
I began to realize that money is always there to be made but time is not always there to be had. I began to realize that jobs would replace you within 2 weeks if something were to happen but there would forever be a void in the heart of your loved ones. I began to realize that your support system, whoever it may be, is always there to pick you up when you fall. I realized that a pleasant interaction with a stranger at breakfast can really start your day off great. I realized that eye contact and quality time with people means more than any physical gift you could ever receive. I realized that being a role model for younger men and women gives you the opportunity to help shape a life.
There are certain truths I have learned that I really try to live by:
There is no guaranteed tomorrow. Not for you. Not for the closest people in your life.
You have feelings. Build your emotional intelligence. Understand when you're feeling happy, sad, mad, frustrated, scared, irritable, etc. Understand what causes these feelings and how to overcome them with grace. Try to understand what type of person and habits you show when you feel certain feelings and how to maintain authenticity through the process of controlling your feelings.
Other people have feelings. You have absolutely NO IDEA what people are going through. One negative comment can be the comment that puts them over the edge. One compliment can be the compliment that saves their life.
Understand the effects that words have on people. You can speak life into someone as easily as you can tear someone apart with words. You have that choice every day.
If you're like me and you believe in God, understand that each person crosses your path for a reason. Every interaction with a person is an opportunity to live out the light of Christ: Show love, forgiveness, patience, understanding, humility, gratefulness, and humility to others.
Always be looking for and open to opportunities to make an impact on the people around you. Strangers, friends, family...anyone that crosses your path.
Be where your feet are. When you have a personal interaction...be ALL IN. No distractions, no short answers, don't let your mind drift away. That interaction can be the most important part of that person's day, so make it important for you, too.
Be honest with people. Be honest about your feelings. Be honest about your heart. Be honest with yourself. If you're upset about something, find a solution. If you're grateful for someone, tell them why. If you love someone, tell them every time it crosses your mind. If you miss someone, reach out to them.
Mend broken relationships. There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. You don't have to reconcile with everyone. But you should forgive everyone. Remember, refusal to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Make memories. Spend your time, money, and resources on people, not things.
Be Dependable. Make your word be as credible as a signed contract. If you tell someone you're going to do something, see that through. There is no better compliment than when someone says of someone. Be the person that drops everything to help others.
Be authentic. Be who you are. Stay true to that. In every situation, stand on your personal promises, values, and ethics. Don't allow others to sway those. Because leaders are authentic. Those that are confident in who they are in all situations often times become leaders.
It. Is. Not. About. You. This one is a big one. Serve Others. It isn't about you. When you see a need, go meet it. When someone is sensitive, be gentle. When someone is having a tough day, go out of your way for them. When someone succeeds, celebrate with them. Here's the secret....if you live a life pouring yourself out to others, when the day comes that you need poured into, you will have an ARMY of people there to do the same for you as you do for them.
Love. Love hard. Love deep. Love wholeheartedly. Love forgivingly. Love passionately. Love people where they are. Love people for where they came from. Love people to where they're going. Love yourself. Love your person. Love your neighbor. Love your family. Love your friends. and Love strangers. There's always room for love.
That's it. It's people. Your life is a mission field. Pour into those around you. Support people. Love people. Celebrate people. Challenge people. Hold people accountable. Grow with people.
There is not guarantee with time. So use the time you have, and pour yourself out into other people.
If you never pour yourself out, there's no room for people to pour into you.
-APC
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