Last Wednesday, towards the end of the day, my mouse began to malfunction. It was in the middle of my last virtual meeting and I didn't have much time to give it thought. I quickly switched to my second best solution--the mouse capability on my laptop computer.
On Thursday, I came into the office and the mouse was working as normal. Honestly, I forgot about the day before. It wasn't until about 1:30 PM where the mouse stopped working. I did what anyone does when batteries begin to run low in a mouse or remote control: I popped open the battery lid, spun the batteries around a few times, tested the mouse, and BOOM! Back working again.
Throughout the day, I had to do that several times. On Friday, My spinning of the batteries upgraded to popping the batteries out, switching them into their respective chambers and continuing to use them.
It wasn't until this morning that I came into the office and from the start of the day, and my mouse was completely dead. I had to wait until 10:00AM when the convenience store across the street opened so I had to inconveniently lean over my keyboard and maneuver my mouse via laptop, which I know for some people is no biggie, but I'm a little boujie when it comes to having a mouse.
Finally, 10:00AM rolls around, I walk to AJ's Convenience Store and get some AAA batteries, pop them into my mouse and it was working as good as new. Within 5 seconds it hit my like a ton of bricks: This is an analogy about my life.
The reality was: I knew last Wednesday that my mouse was running on low batteries. At the first sign, I saw it as a real inconvenience. The next day, as the batteries were getting lower, I chose the QUICK fix (battery spin), not the RIGHT fix. I chose the fix that would buy me just a few more hours of use, before exhausting all of the juice.
Even when I spun the batteries, and THAT didn't do it, I chose the NEXT quickest fix (popping them out and switching them), just trying to SQUEEZE a FEW more hours out of them. Each time the mouse stopped working, my spinning got more aggressive, and I grew more frustrated.
The solution that I knew I needed, I put off. I had time all three days to take a 45 second walk and buy the batteries. But I didn't. I made every excuse not to: Inconvenience, didn't feel like it, too hot, too far away, not my top priority. It wasn't until today, when the batteries were completely empty, that I decided to do something about it.
I giggled at God because I had to wait until 10:00 AM to replace the batteries and couldn't help but think "Yeah, I deserve that." Because what I did with my mouse is what I often do in my own life.
There are often signs of exhaustion, discomfort, unhappiness, anxiety. frustration and fatigue. I often times respond to myself with things such as "it's bad timing this weekend to be tired. Suppress the anxiety. Get a quick fix: pop a red bull, scroll on social media, get a short term dopamine hit just to buy yourself a few more hours of productivity.
Until, it's Monday Morning at 7:30 AM and because you haven't prioritized a real solution, you're left completely exhausted. And when you're FINALLY ready to invest in the long-term solution, you can't because the solution isn't available to you (at least not at the time that you need it most).
I know this sounds crazy but hear me out: I actually felt bad for the mouse once I switched the batteries. I was growing frustrated at it's lack of performance. Meanwhile, the mouse works. It's not broken. It just had dead batteries. and I thought to myself "It's not the mouse's fault that I didn't change the batteries." and I thought to myself, "Jeez, Al, where are you growing frustrated with yourself (and even others) without first checking in on yours/their battery level?"
There are probably a lot of people around us right now running on low batteries. They haven't prioritized themselves. Their health, their emotions, their spirituality, their confidence, their mental health, their sleep, etc. And the first thing we do as a society is we think spinning the batteries is the better solution.
I'd challenge you to ask "in what areas of my life am I running on low batteries. and what has been my 'spinning of the batteries' solution up to this point?" And if you're bold enough to ask, you might even ask yourself "What does it look like to walk to the store, buy new batteries, and recharge?" And I'd ask you to prioritize that.
Because If you're anything like me, you self sabotage. You judge yourself on your performance, interactions, treatment of others. But the reality is, how we perform when we are on low battery isn't an actual indication of our worth or ability, it just means we need to recharge our batteries.
~APC
Kommentare